"I am so encouraged, O Lord.
Never did I realise how much you have actually used me to impact the lives of people. What an honour it is to be part of your amazing plan to transform this person into gold.
This is what I want for my life.
This is what my heart beats so passionately for.
Because from now, everything else is secondary.
Here I am.
Use me, O Lord."
Nivlac -is- Inpired
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Math109 Skills Test 1
Math was not the ultimate one to conquer. The real enemy was time.
On the battlefield, every nanosecond counts. Every move and scribble you make, determines the outcome of your cause. Every thought and strategy you devise can either bring you to success or leave you to die.
The feeling was so real. It was real for once in my whole life that I was saving a girl in distress, or bringing the One Ring to be destroyed. In 15 minutes you must leave the Shire, dodge the 9 Black Riders or Nazguls, to Rivendell, the Misty Mountains, the Mines of Moria, dodge millions of goblins and orcs, Balrog, tens of thousands or Uruk Hai, to Edoras, Helms Deep, the Dead City, Fangohorn Forest, Isengard, Ithilien, Osgiliath, Minas Tirith and finally Mordor where the fiery fires of Mount Doom is situated. I remembered so clearly, running those fast paced math steps in my head, I had just 1 minute to do the final integration question due to some blunder I made for some previous questions. I was about to give up and let time consume me, but the picture of the Dark Lord Sauron wearing the One Ring and the Shire bursting in flames forced me to fight to the very end. If I fall, I fall with honour.
It was the fastest mind math I did. I could not simplify the expression to a simpler form as what the practice tests always required me to do. Doing too much practice tests led me to think narrowly. But in the end, the final 20 seconds, I decided to take another path, to take the road to the Morgul Vale, and then the pass of Cirith Ungol, and face HER. But suddenly in the midst of fighting in probably the last 10 seconds of my life, the light of Earendil, the most beloved star shown its stunning brightness. After running those maths in my head I rapidly pressed '1' in the answer box, and in less than a second the box 'Your time is up. Click to exit.' popped up.
*Heart beats rapidly*Breathing heavily*...
I did it.
The One Ring was destroyed...
phew...
CALVIN
P.S.: The story of the One Ring was greatly warped here to suit my story...=P
Credits to J.R.R. Tolkien for his great book.
On the battlefield, every nanosecond counts. Every move and scribble you make, determines the outcome of your cause. Every thought and strategy you devise can either bring you to success or leave you to die.
The feeling was so real. It was real for once in my whole life that I was saving a girl in distress, or bringing the One Ring to be destroyed. In 15 minutes you must leave the Shire, dodge the 9 Black Riders or Nazguls, to Rivendell, the Misty Mountains, the Mines of Moria, dodge millions of goblins and orcs, Balrog, tens of thousands or Uruk Hai, to Edoras, Helms Deep, the Dead City, Fangohorn Forest, Isengard, Ithilien, Osgiliath, Minas Tirith and finally Mordor where the fiery fires of Mount Doom is situated. I remembered so clearly, running those fast paced math steps in my head, I had just 1 minute to do the final integration question due to some blunder I made for some previous questions. I was about to give up and let time consume me, but the picture of the Dark Lord Sauron wearing the One Ring and the Shire bursting in flames forced me to fight to the very end. If I fall, I fall with honour.
It was the fastest mind math I did. I could not simplify the expression to a simpler form as what the practice tests always required me to do. Doing too much practice tests led me to think narrowly. But in the end, the final 20 seconds, I decided to take another path, to take the road to the Morgul Vale, and then the pass of Cirith Ungol, and face HER. But suddenly in the midst of fighting in probably the last 10 seconds of my life, the light of Earendil, the most beloved star shown its stunning brightness. After running those maths in my head I rapidly pressed '1' in the answer box, and in less than a second the box 'Your time is up. Click to exit.' popped up.
*Heart beats rapidly*Breathing heavily*...
I did it.
The One Ring was destroyed...
phew...
CALVIN
P.S.: The story of the One Ring was greatly warped here to suit my story...=P
Credits to J.R.R. Tolkien for his great book.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Deep sway
I see it in my mind
how the things of the past flash swiftly across the lids of my eyes
like blurring images they are, accelarating
I feel myself floating in a pool
of neither air nor water
but of a tender force of the memories of the past
the pictures have a mind of their own
with intention they swift past my eyes knowing I would take notice
of the stories they want to tell
of the deadly truth they want to reveal
their whispers disturb the air
making it dense with a nameless fear
sweat covers my skin and dampens my clothes
it was not long until I come to realise
my past had caught up with me
the horn of war is soon to be sounded
the banners of anger are soon to be raised
the weapon of the enemy is at hand
time cannot be stopped
i must face it
with the sword in my hand
and the shield on another
because there is no turning back
no turning back
on this road I am running on
where bushes are its guardians, as tall as the statues of my past
the road consumes me
little by little the dark night claims its rule
portion by portion it claims victory
over my life
and over all
Calvin
PS : Just a ramble of my imaginations. Nothing to worry about. =)
how the things of the past flash swiftly across the lids of my eyes
like blurring images they are, accelarating
I feel myself floating in a pool
of neither air nor water
but of a tender force of the memories of the past
the pictures have a mind of their own
with intention they swift past my eyes knowing I would take notice
of the stories they want to tell
of the deadly truth they want to reveal
their whispers disturb the air
making it dense with a nameless fear
sweat covers my skin and dampens my clothes
it was not long until I come to realise
my past had caught up with me
the horn of war is soon to be sounded
the banners of anger are soon to be raised
the weapon of the enemy is at hand
time cannot be stopped
i must face it
with the sword in my hand
and the shield on another
because there is no turning back
no turning back
on this road I am running on
where bushes are its guardians, as tall as the statues of my past
the road consumes me
little by little the dark night claims its rule
portion by portion it claims victory
over my life
and over all
Calvin
PS : Just a ramble of my imaginations. Nothing to worry about. =)
Monday, July 28, 2008
You are Lord of all - a song
O Lord
How magnificent you are
Amazing and so abounding in love
I stand here in awe of you
We worship you
You alone are worthy
Forever you are Lord
You are worthy, we give you glory, all praises to you
For you are Lord of all
You are King of all
Blessed is your name O Lord, my God
Forever you will reign
Forever and forever your Kingdom will rule
For you are Lord of all creation
Blessed is your name
Forever you will reign
O Lord, my God
Calvin
How magnificent you are
Amazing and so abounding in love
I stand here in awe of you
We worship you
You alone are worthy
Forever you are Lord
You are worthy, we give you glory, all praises to you
For you are Lord of all
You are King of all
Blessed is your name O Lord, my God
Forever you will reign
Forever and forever your Kingdom will rule
For you are Lord of all creation
Blessed is your name
Forever you will reign
O Lord, my God
Calvin
Saturday, July 26, 2008
All things are possible
"You sent for me, Your Grace?"
"10 million, as promised, with my gratitude."
"I accept your gratitude, Your Highness. But, uh, I don't want the money."
"What do you want then?"
"......Unfortunately, nothing you can give."
"Young man, where did you get that music box? You were the boy, weren't you? The servant boy who got us out. You saved her life, and mine, then you restored her to me. Yet, you want no reward?"
"Not any more..."
"Why the change of mind?"
"It was more a change of heart..."
All things are possible with you, O Lord.
cal
P.S.: Don't bother trying to figure out what this means...It is not meant to be understood. Only some people will know...=)
"10 million, as promised, with my gratitude."
"I accept your gratitude, Your Highness. But, uh, I don't want the money."
"What do you want then?"
"......Unfortunately, nothing you can give."
"Young man, where did you get that music box? You were the boy, weren't you? The servant boy who got us out. You saved her life, and mine, then you restored her to me. Yet, you want no reward?"
"Not any more..."
"Why the change of mind?"
"It was more a change of heart..."
All things are possible with you, O Lord.
cal
P.S.: Don't bother trying to figure out what this means...It is not meant to be understood. Only some people will know...=)
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Am I trying too hard?
Why do I feel so different?
I can't fit in well. I tried. But it just does not work.
You can't force me to fit in.
Because it does not work that way.
Am I trying too hard?
Am I trying too hard?
This shouldn't be happening.
Because it never happened until now.
The light did not reveal you imaginary no more.
Instead I still see you trapped, not wanting to come out and greet me.
I must not try too hard.
This should come naturally.
cal
I can't fit in well. I tried. But it just does not work.
You can't force me to fit in.
Because it does not work that way.
Am I trying too hard?
Am I trying too hard?
This shouldn't be happening.
Because it never happened until now.
The light did not reveal you imaginary no more.
Instead I still see you trapped, not wanting to come out and greet me.
I must not try too hard.
This should come naturally.
cal
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Home
Only at home I could find these...
P.S. : Pictures taken from the garden of my home
I miss home
"Like the flowers, home is beauty
A place where all colours match"
//nivlacinspire//
"Like the flowers, home is beauty
A place where all colours match"
//nivlacinspire//
P.S. : Pictures taken from the garden of my home
Thursday, July 10, 2008
No borders
When I come to you, O Lord
Your arms streches as wide as the oceans
You listen to my every word
and you never let me go untouched
Your everlasting love
turns my tears into wine
Every drop you collect and treasure them
For you see my suffering, and
you know my circumtances
Because of who you are, my Lord
I turn my eyes on you
In all that I am going through
I know you are there beside me
Thus, as far as the ocean goes
Still your love surpasses its borders
How amazing you are, my Lord
Calvin
"Your love O Lord, is like the ocean, deeper than endless seas"
Monday, July 7, 2008
Still an imagination
Where are you?
I have been waiting for so long, but you never came.
I close the curtains of my eyes, and in the darkness I hear myself whisper,
"Come closer. Closer. Closer."
But you never came.
I talk to you in a great distance.
The reply I hear, I thought it was real.
I came to realize, however, that it was only my imagination that answers me.
I thought you have come,
but you never came.
In a group of four,
I am always behind, alone,
while the other three walk in a neat row.
In a group of three,
I am always behind, alone,
while the other two walk in a neat row.
Even in a group of two,
I do not belong.
We walk in a neat row, but I am alone.
"Come closer to me."
"Do you not see I desperately need your company?"
"Do you not know that by waiting even longer, I'll be nothing but dust?"
"Do you not realize your importance in being someone I could belong to, connect with and trust?"
"Do you still want to be just an imaginary part of my life, rather than reality?"
"Come closer. Closer. Closer."
I hope and wait still, that when I pull open the curtains, the light will reveal you imaginary no more.
Be real to me,
My friend.
Calvin
I have been waiting for so long, but you never came.
I close the curtains of my eyes, and in the darkness I hear myself whisper,
"Come closer. Closer. Closer."
But you never came.
I talk to you in a great distance.
The reply I hear, I thought it was real.
I came to realize, however, that it was only my imagination that answers me.
I thought you have come,
but you never came.
In a group of four,
I am always behind, alone,
while the other three walk in a neat row.
In a group of three,
I am always behind, alone,
while the other two walk in a neat row.
Even in a group of two,
I do not belong.
We walk in a neat row, but I am alone.
"Come closer to me."
"Do you not see I desperately need your company?"
"Do you not know that by waiting even longer, I'll be nothing but dust?"
"Do you not realize your importance in being someone I could belong to, connect with and trust?"
"Do you still want to be just an imaginary part of my life, rather than reality?"
"Come closer. Closer. Closer."
I hope and wait still, that when I pull open the curtains, the light will reveal you imaginary no more.
Be real to me,
My friend.
Calvin
Friday, June 27, 2008
Another visit to Sumner Beach
Yesterday afternoon, I have decided that I will fulfill my long planned bike trip to Sumner Beach today. Eric was keen to join me as he too planned to bike to Sumner Beach a long time ago. So we got up early this morning, had our breakfast and departed from Ilam at approximately 11.00 am.
Based on the map the University gave us during our orientation week, it stated that Sumner is 17 km from the University. So that means we will have to bike for ~34 km! Of course, we were really confident that it would not be a difficult task, because we have trained ourselves much by consistently biking to the mall, supermarkets and the City.
So we headed off with high spirits and great confidence. We first reached the city in just 15 minutes, which was highly unexpected. So that is a good start! We then looked at the map again to confirm the route to the beach. 'Not that far...half way to go!' we thought. As expected, the biking trip to the beach was not a problem at all, even though the wind got strong at certain bends. Timing wise, we managed to reach the beach in just 1 and 1/2 hours.
Based on the map the University gave us during our orientation week, it stated that Sumner is 17 km from the University. So that means we will have to bike for ~34 km! Of course, we were really confident that it would not be a difficult task, because we have trained ourselves much by consistently biking to the mall, supermarkets and the City.
So we headed off with high spirits and great confidence. We first reached the city in just 15 minutes, which was highly unexpected. So that is a good start! We then looked at the map again to confirm the route to the beach. 'Not that far...half way to go!' we thought. As expected, the biking trip to the beach was not a problem at all, even though the wind got strong at certain bends. Timing wise, we managed to reach the beach in just 1 and 1/2 hours.
On the way, we stopped by a public toilet. My bad. =P
And we took some pictures as proof that we actually cycled there!! Haha...
When we reached the beach, something we really hoped NOT to happen happened. It started to rain heavily, and the winds were just gushing everywhere! Oh no! When it rains, it rains for ages! How are we going to cycle back in this freaky weather?!
Oh well, we did not want to think much about that then, so we continued taking pictures and finding a place for lunch.
Oh well, we did not want to think much about that then, so we continued taking pictures and finding a place for lunch.
Nice nice beautiful flowers!! In winter they bloom!
We had fish and chips for lunch. 40 cents more expensive than Fresco Fisheries at Church Corner, and 10 times worse in quality...But we were tired and hungry so we did not complain much. Since the rain and wind did not subside, we decided to wait and spend time in the public library.
Around 2.30 pm, the rain and winds were still strong. However, we cannot afford to wait any longer, because NZ gets dark by 5.30pm these days, and we know that our return bike trip will definitely be a long and exhausting one!
We stepped out of the library, and man, the cold freaked us out! Bike + Rain + Wind + Cold = you don't want to know... Oh dear... We had no other choice but to face the rain, wind and the bitter cold. So we began to head back. Just one minute of cycling was enough to tell me that this is not going to be good...not good...The winds were so strong that it could sway you and your bike while you are cycling. There was a moment when the wind just blew me and my bike into the left lane! Good thing I wasn't cycling near the water (sea) or else I would be freaking cold and sick by now! The cold itself wasn't helping. My ears were so cold that I could not feel the wind blowing them, its was like not having ears at all!! Sigh...every single paddle was a torture. Earlier, I cycled to Sumner mostly in fourth and fifth gear, but during the return trip, even second gear was a pain.
Around 2.30 pm, the rain and winds were still strong. However, we cannot afford to wait any longer, because NZ gets dark by 5.30pm these days, and we know that our return bike trip will definitely be a long and exhausting one!
We stepped out of the library, and man, the cold freaked us out! Bike + Rain + Wind + Cold = you don't want to know... Oh dear... We had no other choice but to face the rain, wind and the bitter cold. So we began to head back. Just one minute of cycling was enough to tell me that this is not going to be good...not good...The winds were so strong that it could sway you and your bike while you are cycling. There was a moment when the wind just blew me and my bike into the left lane! Good thing I wasn't cycling near the water (sea) or else I would be freaking cold and sick by now! The cold itself wasn't helping. My ears were so cold that I could not feel the wind blowing them, its was like not having ears at all!! Sigh...every single paddle was a torture. Earlier, I cycled to Sumner mostly in fourth and fifth gear, but during the return trip, even second gear was a pain.
I believe that the winds were very strong there because of the open environment, with minimal buildings and hills to block the winds. Whats more, it is a beach for goodness sake, its supposed to be windy there! Finally, I got a taste of what it is like at Wellington...Haha... The wind and cold were not the only nuisance, the rain did their own share of torture! Man, the rain droplets felt more like hail than water. As we cycled the 'rain droplets' were continuously slapping our faces with such a painful sting that we had to pull over. We rested for a moment behind a bush to block the winds from killing us. There we took some videos to demonstrate how strong the winds were...Haha...The videos were not able to really show it though, but it sure was freaking windy!!
This poor bird could not fight the wind. In the end it just gave up and was gone with the wind.
Two of us stuck behind a bush
Finally, back at where we started...
Oh well...We still had to go back. So we forced ourselves back on our bikes and slowly brought ourselves home. We took more than 3 hours this time...what a contrast to our earlier trip!!
Actually this bike trip was not so bad compared to the other painful physical experiences I've had, namely Gunung Nuang...I shiver when I hear that name...Brrr...*shivers*. Its a really good exercise though!! I wonder how much weight I've lost in this bike trip...hmm...haha
Actually this bike trip was not so bad compared to the other painful physical experiences I've had, namely Gunung Nuang...I shiver when I hear that name...Brrr...*shivers*. Its a really good exercise though!! I wonder how much weight I've lost in this bike trip...hmm...haha
Finally, back at where we started...
The cold (I suspect...could be something else) did something weird to my hands...I'm not sure whether its frost bite because it does not hurt at all, but surely my finger tips turned really purple!! The colour subsided after a few hours...anyone care to explain? I suspect that its just the colour from my gloves...but then my gloves are leather gloves...weird...
...Mysterious...
Looking forward to going Auckland tomorrow!! Yeah...
CALVIN
CALVIN
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